‘Santa, I look forward to you breaking into my house’




Entertainment

Adam Driver hosts SNL with Olivia Rodrigo as musical guest

Host Adam Driver during Promos in Studio 8H on Tuesday, December 5, 2023. Rosalind O’Connor/NBC

During his fourth time hosting “Saturday Night Live,” Adam Driver serenaded Santa Claus with his wish list during his monologue.

While performing, he proudly proclaimed, “Santa, I look forward to you breaking into my house.”

The actor racked up the laughs, in the course of promoting his upcoming movie “Ferrari,” which comes out on Christmas Day and was based on Enzo Ferrari’s biography.

Olivia Rodrigo was the musical guest for the second time last night (the first was in May 2021), playing tracks off her sophomore album. Next year she tours for the album, “Guts,” playing two shows at the TD Garden on April 1 and 2.

Cold Open

This week’s cold open mocks the recent Congressional hearing on college antisemitism. Claudine Gay (Ego Nwodim), Sally Kornbluth (Heidi Gardner), and Liz Magill (Chloe Fineman) are all challenged with questions about antisemitism on their campuses — and so is the president of the University of Phoenix (Kenan Thompson), whose campus is “the internet.”

Monologue

Driver gives a fairly brief, charming monologue, the highlight of which is a live piano serenade to Santa Claus that the Julliard grad actually plays live. He also references SNL alum Chris Kattan, “wokeness” killing Han Solo, those “giant metal Teslas,” and couples on TikTok who prank each other. 

We’re Trying

During a ski trip, Gardner and Michael Longfellow announce that they’re trying for a second baby. And on that topic, Driver and Bowen Yang are also trying. Not adoption, not surrogacy — “just trying.” The other couples can’t figure out what they mean by that. But “people think they can just ask gay people anything,” laments Yang. Besides, his body is already changing — he’s always craving ham and cocaine.

Old Friends

In this prerecorded sketch, Mikey Day is home for the holidays and decides to reach out to an old friend, Driver. After asking him to grab a beer, Day realizes how much his friend has changed or “gone full psycho.” Driver needs to make sure the bar isn’t a gay bar. He also can’t go within 1,000 feet of a school. Driver mentions a Netflix doc came out about him — because while he was a janitor at a sperm bank, he switched up samples and now has hundreds of kids. Then Driver mentions he lost the love of his life: his gun. “It’s crazy that they can just take a gun away from you because of what you say online,” Driver complains.

Beep Beep

It’s a holiday potluck dinner party, and the players make fun of mid-Western politeness. “Beep, beep, lemme just scoot right past ya,” says Driver as he places food on the table. Until Andrew Dismukes says “beep, beep” at the same time. They’re both in “tiny little cars,” and a fight to the death might be in order.

Olivia Rodrigo

The 20-year-old pop star performed a piano-only rendition of “Vampire,” the radio hit off her recent album, along with “All-American Bitch,” the album’s pop-punk-esque opening track. It all took place on an elaborate dinner party set.

Weekend Update

On this episode’s Weekend Update, Colin Jost and Michael Che crack jokes about Hunter Biden, the UPenn president’s recent resignation, Nick Cannon’s Disneyland budget, and a woman who was sentenced to work at a fast food restaurant. Fineman came on to perform Julia Stiles’ dance at the end of the 2001 movie “Save the Last Dance for Me” and Stiles herself joined Fineman on stage.

Elder PSA

“Every day, thousands of seniors fall victim to TikTok pranks,” according to this touching commercial. They give testimonies — Driver, a veteran (he’s a veteran in real life, too), complains about getting “dunked on” by kids in Walmart, and James Austin Johnson loses it while getting asked to “name a woman.”

Airplane Baby

Sarah Sherman brings her overcooked baby (Driver) on a plane. He’s 11 months and 15,000 days. He makes on-the-nose baby jokes, though — the iPad is the “Pippa Pig device,” and Sherman is a “bitch” when she hides the teddy bear during peek-a-boo.





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