Praise for Woman’s Response to Mom Friend Turning Up Hour Late for Lunch

A woman who took a hardline stance after growing tired of her mom friend repeatedly turning up late for things has won the backing of the internet.

In a Reddit post shared under the handle u/No-Secretary3274, the woman described how her friend, who is a stay-at-home-mom, is regularly up to 30 minutes late when they meet up.

Each time, the friend claims she has “mom privileges” and blames the struggles of getting a young child out of the house and into a car. However, on the most recent occasion during what was supposed to be a catch-up over lunch, the woman decided she had had enough of waiting and left.

It was a reaction that drew a furious response from the friend, yet one that many online felt was entirely justified.

Personality Traits

Everyone knows someone who is habitually late for things. On some occasions, being late can have serious consequences not just for your professional life but also your personal one.

But while it might be a source of some frustration, there is research to suggest that consistent tardiness may be a result of an individual’s personality.

A 2001 study conducted by Jeff Conte, a psychology professor at San Diego State University, highlighted how the persistently late often share traits such as optimism, anxiety, and a lack of self-control.

To prove this, he conducted an experiment in which his test subjects were divided into two distinct groups. The first were categorized as Type A people and possessed traits like being ambitious or competitive. The second were Type B and were considered more creative and reflective.

The two groups were then asked, without using clocks, to judge how long before a minute had passed. According to the results, the Type A people felt it had gone by when just 58 seconds on average had passed. By contrast, the Type B people determined a minute was up after 77 seconds.

That kind of difference can begin to add up over a 24-hour day and indicates each individual experiences time in a slightly different way.

A woman phoning and a single parent.
Stock images of a woman on the phone and a mom with her toddler – a mom-of-one was left furious after her friend walked out on a planned lunch over her tardiness.
nicoletaionescu/Image Source/Getty

In the case of the woman and her mom friend, however, there may be slightly more at play. After leaving the restaurant, the woman posting to Reddit decided to head over to the coffee shop across the road so she could see how late her friend ended up being. “I was curious just how late she’d be,” she wrote. “She was over an hour late.”

Despite this, the mom-of-one was furious at her, branding her actions “callous and selfish.” Yet the woman rejected this and slammed her friend for playing the “you’re not a mom so you wouldn’t get it” card. “I hang out with multiple friends who bring their kids out with us, and they’re never late,” she said.

Stop Making Excuses

Lisa Mirza Grotts, who is a leading etiquette expert, was in firm agreement with the woman. “Stop Making Excuses,” she told Newsweek. “When you’re late for a date, it says that your time is more important than everyone else’s. It’s not.”

Grotts said the woman posting to Reddit had two choices. “Either don’t make plans with this friend to stop the frustration, or leave within 15 minutes as a courtesy if they are a no show,” she said. “The only thing we have control over is our own behavior. It never hurts to behave a little better than what is expected of us, especially with friends. In this case, it’s about promptness and preparedness which courteous people are.”

She also dismissed the idea of anyone playing the “mom card” in this kind of scenario. “In this day and age, there’s no excuse for tardiness with smart phones and toll-free assistants such as Alexa and Siri,” Grotts said. “A quick text or call is polite. Child or not, it’s rude to leave people hanging.”

The Reddit community was inclined to agree. “If she knows it’s going to take 30 minutes extra, she leaves 30 minutes earlier. It’s really not that hard,” one user wrote. Another commented: “I’m a mom of two and I have literally never been late for anything, even with babies. Sometimes you have to start getting ready hours before. When you’re a parent, you’ve got to plan for this.” A third, meanwhile, concluded: “When someone is always late, they don’t respect your time or you in general.”

Newsweek reached out to u/No-Secretary3274 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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