GREG GUTFELD: Nothing like human misery to pave the way for the Democrats’ power grab

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Just when you thought New York couldn’t get any nastier, it now smells like a humid day inside Joy Behar’s moomoo. Canadian wildfires are producing tons of smoke, all landing here, making it the worst thing from that country since Seth Rogen, but as the trees burn, another tree speaks out. Yes, human Elm, John Kerry commemorated the 79th anniversary of D-Day by comparing it to the fight against climate change. Note to John, it’s okay to visit the statues at Easter Island, just don’t turn into one. He claims the climate change fight requires the same level of innovation and mobilization that was required to fight the Nazis, but today’s threat comes from all of us. So if you don’t recycle and buy an EV, well, then you’re the new Hitler. Plus, he’s the last guy I’d talk to about the environment, the guy threw away his medals, and that’s littering. 

Meanwhile, East coasters are suffering, which makes Dems smile. Nothing like human misery to pave the way for a power grab. If this smog keeps up, churches will be closed. You will only be allowed out for food and Pride parades. AOC says that this smoke out just shows us, “how unprepared we are for the climate crisis… We must adapt our food systems, energy grids, infrastructure, health care,” blah, blah, blah, barf. Because when the government says adapt, they mean seize and destroy, but if she really cared about too much C02 in the air, she’d shut her gob. 


Does she think this is the first forest fire in the history of the world? Well, actually, she might, she has an economics degree and still thinks shutting down businesses creates new jobs. She’s not bright. Five cows fart in Calcutta, and she’s ready to send us back to the days of horse and buggy. By the way, aren’t we teaching kids about Smokey the Bear anymore? I mean, that is, if Smokey still identifies as a bear.

Birds over NYC skyline

JERSEY CITY, NJ – MARCH 26: The sun rises behind the Statue of Liberty and the Brooklyn Tower as seagulls fly over the skyline of Brooklyn in New York City on March 26, 2023, as seen from Jersey City, New Jersey.   (Photo by Gary Hershorn/Getty Images)

Then there’s human chinchilla at Chuck Schumer, who claims that the smoke is a warning that “we have a lot of work to do to reverse the destruction of climate change.” Okay, but does that work include teaching people not to throw a lit cigaret out of a window of a car or maybe douse that campfire when you’re done playing Davy —- Crockett? He adds, “We passed the Inflation Reduction Act to put us on track to reduce our greenhouse gas emissions 50% by 2030. But we must do more.” Oh, wait. That’s why you passed the Inflation Reduction Act? I thought it was supposed to stop a pound of baloney from costing more than a pound of lobster, you pound of crap. 

How about “Squad-pod” Pramila Jayapal, “Imagine being a Republican climate change denier in Congress…,” you see, “the skies filled with smoke… and you still don’t get that we need immediate action to save our planet?” Well, again, imagine being a Democrat who hasn’t heard about the discovery of fire. Imagine this lady in the 4th of July, you light a Roman candle, and she’ll say it’s worse than 9/11. What’s Canada’s non-binary bozo doing?

JUSTIN TRUDEAU: People across the country are being affected. We’re seeing vulnerable people at risk, outdoor events canceled, kids having to be kept inside at recess. I can’t help but think about my conversation with Liam yesterday to conversations with my own kids, the past few years have been challenging for kids.


For God’s sake, please stop thinking about the kids, but at least Trudeau has a plan for using the leftover soot. 

Meanwhile, USA Today asks, “As Canada burns, smoke makes US air unhealthy and skies eerie. Is climate change to blame?” Well, no, USA Today people burning your newspaper to get a grill lit is more likely the cause. The fact is, 90% of forest fires are caused by humans. Campfires left unattended, discarded cigarettes, equipment malfunctions and the burning of debris like when I set fire to those old love letters from Larry Kudlow. It was hard to do. Did you know one in four wildfires are actually caused by arson? And that includes Dana Perino taking out ants with a magnifying glass. Evil.

And finally, according to their own forestry data, since 1990, the number of forest fires in Canada has actually declined. Which is not to say they aren’t aided by bad forest management, which leads to lots of dry wood around ready to burn, the only bigger fire hazard is Kilmeade’s Playboy collection. Pervert! And you can thank green activists for that who reject actual solutions. Logging and other commercial practices would tend to forest health out of self-interest, but they’re getting phased out. 


Canada is having problems with fires on their public lands due to lack of funds. I guess they’re too busy spending money prosecuting teachers for misgendering students. Meanwhile, all our White House says is they want to restore old growth and mature forests, I guess, which explains this. Bottom line more controlled burns would prevent future devastating wildfires. I say we start with a palette of Jesse Watters’ books.

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